Sunday, 23 September 2018 18:17
To those girls who run their own world.
let's be frank, things change but to be honest. nothing will change them...
how they act toward each other. they can't keep secrets with each other cause they know well that nothing can be kept between them.
nothing. cause nothing can separate them.
no one and nothing.
Honestly i was hurting that .. i made myself free on the day that i honestly want to hang out with my besties on my birthday ,but you made plans. Knowing that i am free on that day. Cause i told you about it. And when you asked me whether i wanted to join you and your friend to tagged along.. that is not what i expected ,honestly. The fact that i have to ask you out on my birthday is very sad and getting that respons. I know you might thing that they will celebrate my birthday... yeah that is right my family did but only if its the weekends.. not when its a working day. thinking that it least this year ... i finally will celebrate my birthday with you and only you. Like how we were. Just us besties. But that change fast...
I was bored and sad, but dont worried i asked my cuz to go out with me on my birthday.. ermm. I tho that when you texted me ... that your sorry .. and that youre a bad friend. I honestly wanted to reply you.. you sort of our .. cause you left me hanging ,to may it worst on my birthday.. but what for right. What for getting work up about this minor thing. Yes. Our friendship goes thru more then this. I know that nothing can break it.. cause i dont want it . So i let it go.... am at my lowest.. now where i do have to be frank with myself.. we have always been honestly . Yes i do distants myself alot. Sometimes, my minds is in a state that is too dark.. not to be dramtic. Or anything. But yeah.. this times . I want to be honest. Starting with this. Sorry for being distants or no time to hang out. Even if we dont spend time together.. when we find time. It our time. And no one elso.. we will start where we left off. You know.and that is okay ..... lately i have been on and off. With my mood. Want to be alone is an option and also not. Always in my room where i feel safe. You know. Cause there are memories here... hahaha .. so emo of me to randomly text. Its okay it how we human are .. when we feel or hurt. We have to let it out if not.. it will hurt 100 times.. if it burst out later on... i am trying not to make a big deal . I just want to make you understand that is what i am feeling. Even if i am okay something. I can crack. And broken... i am not always okay .. you know me. But then you never ask me anything else. Ermm... it fine.
Just want to tell you that . Thanks for the wish on my birthday , But your presences makes a big different. Sorry for not being there for you even if you needed me. When you are having problem. I will try my very best next time.
You know where to find me. Even if you cant find me ,text me. No problem.. oh sorry that i cant meet you this weekend. Cause i am still waiting for my pay to come in and pay the bills and then after we can hang out.. after eveything is settled. Being an adult is hard.. i want to be a kid again. Where nothing change and when mum was still here. You know. But that is life i guess. It keep going on.
Okay text me after you wake up in the morning to read this. Do take care of your self my dear besties.. never forget you are improtant to someone out there... me.. hahaah ily and imy . I will be better .. i will try my best to be there for you .am serious. Good nights may all the happiness be in your dreams. Sweet dreams. Besties and thanks for the support in spirts. During my presentation.appericate it
😘🙂
that is how i feel when i am at my lowest everything will be on suface, but dont worry cause i will forget about it after. that is weird right i know.
